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The Confidence Effect: Every Woman's Guide to the Attitude That Attracts Success, by Grace Killelea
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Women are told to step up and lean in...but how?
Every day, talented, hardworking women are passed over for promotions. While it's easy to blame a corporate culture that favors men, seasoned executive Grace Killelea identifies another culprit: a surprising disparity in confidence. Men are prone to overestimate their abilities, while women too often sell themselves short. The Confidence Effect helps women speak out, take risks, and assume leadership positions with assurance. The book moves beyond research and statistics to focus on what's really important: how women can become more confident, one step at a time. Practical strategies show how to turn job competency into the kind of authentic confidence that gets noticed. Women learn to practice the Four Rs of Success--relationships, reputation, results, and resilience--dipping in for tips and tools on how to: Build circles of influence - Seize opportunities they normally avoid - Leverage and promote their skills - Cultivate executive presence - Use data compellingly - Bounce back from setbacks - And more With this powerful new book, women everywhere will find the confidence they need to step off the sidelines onto the playing field--and claim the success they deserve.- Sales Rank: #340214 in Books
- Brand: Killelea Grace
- Published on: 2016-01-06
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 9.00" h x .90" w x 6.10" l, .0 pounds
- Binding: Hardcover
- 224 pages
- The Confidence Effect Every Woman s Guide to the Attitude That Attracts Success
Review
“…help[s] women stand out as both competent and confident to realize the professional achievement they deserve…how to speak out, take risks and assume leadership positions with assurance.” --Life & Health Advisor
"Easy to implement yet effective toolkit for pursuing success...challenges women to practice the simple alterations to our personal brand to improve how we are perceived by others at the workplace." --PM World Book Review
“…fool-proof tips to help you speak up, raise your hand and network your way to the top.” --Brit+Co
“…missing out on promotions, or want to prepare for a promotion, or recognize that your professional confidence is low, then this is a great book.” --A Girl’s Guide to Project Management
From the Inside Flap
Even if you’re great at your job, delivering quality work, meeting deadlines, and working well with colleagues—when promotions are discussed, chances are your name never comes up . . . .
No, there’s nothing fair about it. But getting passed over is a problem with a solution. Grace Killelea, an expert in women’s leadership, sees confidence as the main roadblock holding women back. We’ve been socialized to wait to be noticed. We’re reluctant to speak up, take risks, and project an image that is as capable and strong as the work we produce.
The Confidence Effect shatters this “good girl” conditioning, and provides the practical tools you need to showcase your qualities and skills—without being cocky or annoying. Instead, you’ll draw from your core of competence to build a professional brand that attracts attention, resources, and promotions.
Packed with personal stories and lessons learned, key findings from the new science of confidence, and interviews with a diverse group of high-profile women, The Confidence Effect breaks down this elusive quality into a set of concrete, easy-to-practice skills—the Four R’s of Success:
1. Relationships: Build a supportive network of managers, peers, mentors, advocates, and others—and help each other achieve personal and career growth.
2. Reputation: Cultivate a reputation as a dependable, trustworthy person with whom others want to work—and repair any dents in your brand.
3. Results: Deliver the stellar results that fuel your confidence—and avoid empty promises and underwhelming outcomes.
4. Resilience: Overcome obstacles, process disappointment, adapt to change—and put learning from challenges at the heart of your leadership.
Confidence is the X Factor in career decisions and job offers. You have the power to change the way others perceive you. The Confidence Effect helps you stand out as both competent and confident, and assume the leadership positions you deserve.
Grace Killelea is founder and CEO of Half The Sky Women’s Leadership Institute, principal of Grace Killelea Consulting, and a sought-after speaker on leadership, personal branding, and professional development, who coaches women to help them achieve sustained professional and personal success. Previously, she spent 35 years in human resources and talent development, including executive roles with Comcast Cable Corporation, Lifetime TV, and other organizations. Grace is a certified Birkman Consultant and holds a master’s degree in human resources from American University’s Kogod School of Business and Public Affairs.
Connect with Grace Killelea:
Twitter @gracekillelea
www.gracekillelea.com
From the Back Cover
Women are told to step up and lean in…but how? By cultivating 18 confidence-boosting skills that move you from stuck to success.
Every day, talented, hard-working women are passed over for promotions. While it’s easy to blame a corporate culture that favors men, seasoned executive Grace Killelea identifies another culprit: lack of confidence.
The Confidence Effect helps women develop their confidence one step at a time. Practical strategies and inspiring profiles show you how to turn job competency into the kind of authentic confidence that gets noticed. Dip in for tips and tools centered on the cornerstones of success: relationships, reputation, results, and resilience. You’ll learn how to:
Build circles of influence • Seize opportunities that are often avoided • Leverage and promote your skills • Delegate more and achieve twice as much • Cultivate executive presence • Nurture people and lead collaboratively • Be strategic in mapping out success • Use data to make decisions and sell others. • Bounce back from setbacks • Focus on progress—not perfection • And much more.
ADVANCE PRAISE FOR THE CONFIDENCE EFFECT:
“This book reads like a recipe for courage and confidence: one part each of relationships, reputation, results, and resilience. Put them together and you’re on the path to your corner office.” — Lois P. Frankel, Ph.D., author of Nice Girls Don¹t Get the Corner Office and See Jane Lead
“What is the secret to success for women in business? This book articulates that while know-how is part of the equation, our confidence is paramount to our success. This is a riveting read for all women who want to take their careers and their lives to new levels.” — Michelle Patterson, President of California Women’s Conference and CEO of Women Network
“Killelea has written a groundbreaking and enlightening book that explores the unique connection between confidence and competence. You’ll race through these pages with ideas and strategies that can help you boost your confidence with ironclad resilience.” — Sophia Nelson, author of The Woman Code and former White House Correspondent for JET magazine
Most helpful customer reviews
16 of 17 people found the following review helpful.
All of these “R-words” are values that great leaders, in this case women leaders
By StublinaXPD
I just had to write a book review for my Women In Business course. I figured I would share some of it here as well:
The idea of this book is that, once completed, your outlook on business will change and your confidence level will rise. The author states that most women are competent or confident, but not both and the end goal is to change that. The book is broken up into the following four sections: Relationships, Reputation, Results and Resilience. All of these “R-words” are values that great leaders, in this case women leaders, should value and strive for. Throughout the book the author addresses each of these topics individually, however, they are all equally important and complement one another.
I really hoped for this book to become my new go-to guide for work-related self-help. I lack confidence at the office. I have been told so in my annual reviews. Killelea starts off strong by providing the reader with her background before she reached success is her career, but as the book progressed she plugged her company, Half The Sky Leadership Institute, so often, that I felt as if I was reading a very long brochure about reasons why the program would be useful to me - which maybe it would be, but I definitely did not get the same desired results or guidance that I was seeking from this book. In addition to the whole thing sounding similar to a sales pitch, I thought that the placement of the interviews with successful women were more of an interruption rather than insightful. They were right smack in the middle of the chapter and felt sort of random as they were often repetitive or unrelated to the specific topic being discussed.
When speaking of developing key relationships to aid in cultivating your success, Killelea says, “We all have time for a coffee or lunch at least once a week with a colleague, mentor, sponsor, ally, or client who can help support our goals as we build our brand.” (Killelea, 2016, pg. 23) My thoughts were that if she truly believed that this is a feasible relationship-building option for everyone, she must not be very credible. While the importance of building relationships is undeniable as “any executive, and perhaps especially any woman, who is placed into a top spot without a significant network of support relationships is likely to be at risk” (Kellerman, Rhode, & O'Connor, 2007, pg. 434), as we explored the discussion topic in Module 5 of Women in Business: Managing and Leading, we found that work-life conflict is very much so a challenge for many women and going out to lunch or coffee at least once a week would be unrealistic and, not to mention, costly. Perhaps this could be viable for someone who is higher up on the corporate ladder, but I would most disagree with the statement overall. I also felt like the book contradicted itself in many instances when it comes to the popular confidence-related phrase “Fake it until you make it.” The author references it throughout the book and it seems like she cannot make up her mind as to whether or not she believes that these are words to live by. In Women & Leadership: The State of Play and Strategies for Change, it is mentioned that “suppressing one’s authentic self can have dramatic consequences, so it is important to uncover strategies for enhancing authenticity in the workplace.” (Kellerman, Rhode, & O'Connor, 2007, pg. 330)
The Confidence Effect also touched on the topic of leadership style. The “association of leadership and masculinity encourages the expectation that women will behave differently from men when we do exercise the authority: that we will lead in what are thought of as ‘typically female ways.’” (Kellerman, Rhode, & O'Connor, 2007, pg. 67) Killelea, described one of her client’s as a “direct leader” and stating that “we all know how men – particularly groups of men – respond to that!” (Killelea, 2016, pg. 60) She is referencing a gender stereotype, “people not only expect a woman to be warm, kind and sensitive, they prefer women to behave in such communal ways. Women who fail to show a warm, sensitive side may be seen as difficult and unlikeable.” (Kellerman, Rhode, & O'Connor, 2007, pg. 128) She suggested that in order to deal with this effectively, her client should treat her leadership style as a light dimmer switch and adjust the settings to the situation accordingly.
I know that you had mentioned that The Confidence Effect was on your reading list, Professor, but I would not highly recommend it due to the lack of substance and consistency presented throughout.
References:
Killelea, G. (2016). The confidence effect: Every woman's guide to the attitude that attracts success.
Kellerman, B., Rhode, D. L., & O'Connor, S. D. (2007). Women and leadership: The state of play and strategies for change. San Francisco, CA: Jossey-Bass, a Wiley Imprint.
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful.
While women have made great strides in the workforce
By Melissa Nicklin
While women have made great strides in the workforce, it doesn't seem to be the case when you look at leadership positions. There certainly are many reasons for this but I believe one of the major reasons is a lack of confidence. In my own search for more confidence, I have found three books to be very comforting and helpful: Presence, the Confidence Code and now the Confidence Effect. The book underscores the importance of only only being competent but also the need to be confident. It is a quick read with a lot of helpful ideas and "to do's" for women looking to get more out of their careers. Just like exercise helps us get healthy, taking specific steps to build confidence will help anyone get more out of their work/career.
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
The Confident Effect had a tremendous affect on me
By DaRealMcKoy
The Confidence Effect is a great read. I was in a place where I was trying to relocate my confidence. Grace Killelea's book not only helped with that, but with refining my definitions of confidence and the traits associated with it. The book is segmented into 4 easily consumable parts. It avoids the clichéd advice and helped me to see that I don't have to remake myself. There are tweaks that can be made to get back on the right track.
I really enjoyed that the author shared her struggles and journey to where she is today while not coming off as out of touch. She also includes the voices of other women leaders. This book has already opened me up to some self-awareness and self-reflection that has tremendously changed my viewpoint and my behaviors. This book has reminded me that I have the power, the right and the ability to make my own way iin my career and in the world. It has given me the prompts for self-assessment to determine how to make it happen.
The Confidence Effect squelched my panic about finding my way back to confidence by laying things out into parts - the 4 Rs of Success. And before that, I was introduced to a definition of success that wasn't centered around hard numbers (bank account, direct reports, levels in the organization, etc.). Instead, success is defined as a balance between competence and confidence. Both, together. Well, I know I am competent; that's an understatement. I just needed the confidence part.
I was able to assess my health in each of these areas and determine what I needed to do to strengthen in each area.
Relationships. This area goes beyond traditional networking. It encouraged me to first look at the relationships I currently have and assess that health of those. Do I have Mentors, Sponsors, Advocates & Champions? Do I play any of those roles for others? Have I put myself in a position to do so? Having relationships where I am on both the giving and receiving side of the table is key to shaping my reputation into the shape I would like it to have.
In this section, Executive Presence & appearance was covered. She references a study from the Center for Talent Innovation that breaks Executive Presence into 3 main components: Gravitas, Communication, and Appearance. I hate the appearance discussion as I have my own self/body-image issues. But in The Confidence Effect, the author shares that she had the same hang-ups and how she moved (and continues to move) through them. Also, appearance is not approached in the 'one size fits all' approach I usually hear. This was refreshing.
Reputation. "Think of your reputation as the echo that lingers in the room long after you leave." Actually, in many cases, it often gets to the room long before you arrive as well. In this area, I was challenges with more self-reflection around how I am perceived. I had to accept the good and the bad. Interestingly enough, excepting the good was harder to accept. But, acknowledging what to hold on to and nurture is as important as knowing what to let go of. In this section, I was reminded of those articles and lessons about "speaking up", "raising my hand" and "promoting myself". However, the added piece here is making the effort to deliberately identify what I actually have to offer. What are the talents and gifts I bring to the table? Bring those with confidence and no apologies.
Results. This is where the rubber meets the road. This is the area women usually accel in, delivering results. This remains important in addition to the two Rs above. Long term success cannot be had on Relationships & Reputation alone. It is the results that feed the two. The push & pull between tactics and strategy show up here as well. The fact of the matter is that leaders think strategically. Women are usually relegated to being tactical, sometimes by others and sometime by our own hand. Grace Killelea identifies strategic thinking by "thinking about how people, opportunities and resources connect with one another to achieve results." Whether in the tactical role or strategic role or a blending of the two, it's important to be accountable and responsible for the results - good and bad.
Resilience. I've gotten this far in my career, so I've shown resilience; but rarely deliberately. If the definition of resilience extends beyond "living to see another day", I have more work to do. Killelea adds another dimension to the definition, "overcoming adversity and winning…and adapting to avoid future challenges in the first place." She states that it has to be a transferable skill that moves the act of overcoming into transformation. I have overcome a lot in 16 years. I also run into the same wall more than once in my career. Again, self-reflection is required after overcoming a situation to figure out how to avoid it ever again.
As I said earlier, this book has already given me the ability to sit up taller and step into my role with more confidence. My knowing what I plan to do to grow and develop my reputation and to make my resilience transformational, alone gives me confidence. Because I know that it's within my abilities to do so. Confidence is not something reserved for those born into it. We all have the ability to access it and I look forward to doing just that.
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